I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
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