On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
