yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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