goodnight i made you a song goodbye
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Randomize
