i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
