a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Randomize
