what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
