Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
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Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
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I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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