I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
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You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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