she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
