WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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