I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
