i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
