I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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