Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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