the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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