How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
