After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Can I color on your dick again?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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