I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Randomize
