is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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