sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
