operation have a gay friend backfired
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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