there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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