we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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