Swine flu. Run for my life!
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
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He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
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I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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