sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
