We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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