I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
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I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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