JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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