I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
