It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
