Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Randomize
