fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
