69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Randomize