you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
