Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
