How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
