Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize
