There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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