Your dad touched me again.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Randomize
