He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
