you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
being pregnant is like rehab
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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