so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
