I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
