that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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