My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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