Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
