I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
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By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
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Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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