Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
