Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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