White coat. Heels.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
God I need to hump something, right now.
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