direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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