I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
