U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
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i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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