I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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