my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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