i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
