I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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