just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize