i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
